742 Evergreen Terrace Springfield, United States Phone: 939-555-0113 E-Mail: chunkylover53@aol.com
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SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
Award-winning nuclear safety inspector with 20 years' experience, plus additional skills as police
chief, bartender, astronaut, snowplow driver, sports team mascot, and uhhh, is that a box of
donuts? MmmmmmDOOOnuts!
EMPLOYMENT HISTORY
Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Springfield, USA 1989 to Present
Safety Inspector
Strengthened safety procedures that resulted in 75% fewer accidents on days I was absent.
Pioneered workplace stress-reduction methods that worked for at least one employee.
City of Springfield, Springfield, USA 2002 to 2002
Chief of Police
Broke up weasel-selling ring.
Secured community support in almost-successful effort to expel organized crime from city.
Moe's Tavern and Homer's Hunting Club, Springfield, USA 2001 to 2001
Bartender
Engaged patrons in witty, whimsical, avuncular dialog covering topics such as the arts,
philosophy, politics, and spectator sports.
Launched remodeling project that led to 100% reduction in clientele (including myself).
National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA), Cape Canaveral, FL 1994 to 1994
Astronaut
Averted in-flight disaster by forcing giant ants out of cockpit during space shuttle mission.
Mr. Plow, Springfield, USA 1992 to 1993
Owner, Chief Marketing Officer, and Chief Driver for Snow-Plowing Business
Boosted business 15% by executing late-night TV marketing campaign targeting homeowners
who were too wasted to shovel their driveways.
Deliberated at length before rescuing man trapped beneath mountain avalanche.
Springfield Isotopes Baseball Club, Springfield, USA 1990 to 1990
Game Mascot ("Dancin' Homer")
Generated 25% increase in fan interest and 50% jump in beer sales by leading cheers at home
games for minor league baseball team.
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EDUCATION
Springfield High School, Springfield, USA
HS Diploma College Prep
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AWARDS
1992: Montgomery Burns Award for Outstanding Service in the Field of Excellence